I'll remain here

I let you in. That was my first mistake.

I'm kicking myself for such a rookie move. I had promised myself that I would never allow myself to feel this way again. But that's the funny bit, I didn't plan on this. I didn't plan on falling for you...so hard so fast. It crept up on me. When did I know for real? At Iguana. When you came and sat next to me and linked your hand into mine. I knew there and then that I was fucked. I tried to stop myself but that's the nature of matters of the heart. The more I force myself not to think about you, the more I think about you.
I let you in and I'm trying to bring myself back, to lock you out until you're ready to walk through the flames of me that burn so deeply for you. The scary bit is the scenario where you may decide not to. That will break me for sure.
I do not blame you, that is for certain. The curse of intelligence and free thought is that I knew what I was doing, I made a decision to pursue you but it was not my intention to fall for you.

I'll remain here...hoping and praying that the warmth of my flame for you will draw you in.

I'll remain here...thinking about you every waking moment, wondering how you are and if you're okay.

I'll remain here...trying to forget how it felt to hold you and kiss you and feel your hands through mine as we sat at Iguana.

I'll remain here...kicking myself for letting you in and thanking you all the same for showing me that yes, I may be broken...but I'm still in there somewhere.

I'll remain here...kindling this fire for you.

I'll remain here...but not forever.